Application for dating my son pdf

I always get a chuckle out of that when it came around!

Last year someone sent it to a list I was on, and since I don't have a daughter, and in the spirit of the thing, I wrote up the following... You may glance at him, but any glances going beneath the belt will get you an immediate expulsion from my house.

My daughter, on the other hand, prefers a much more calm form of play.

When we go to the park, my son tries to find other kids to play with; he can normally be seen running around with a couple of kids almost instantly.

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is in the _____________ B.

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, priest or pastor? Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely – all answers are confidential (That means I won’t tell anyone – I promise): A.

In 50 words or less, what does “DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you? In 50 words or less, what does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you? When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________ (NOTE: If the answer to “E” begins with a B, T, or A, discontinue and leave the premises immediately with your head hung low.) 15. _____________________ Signature (That means sign your name) Thank you for your interest. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _____________ C. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ____________________ E. Do you plan to attend a Catholic or Christian College? ____________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

It was fun to watch our kids run all over the place and play.If you like it, feel free to share it, but make sure you tell the truth about who wrote it, or I'll have to come, ummmm..... If my son gathers his courage and asks you for a date, this is not an opportunity to run all your errands with my car. You will find your feet hitting the pavement faster than your gum-snapping mouth can shriek "What?? "I am aware that it is considered fashionable for girls of your age to wear their shirts with the bottom half ripped off, where any sudden movement threatens to expose yourself to any casual passerby or with necklines so low that your breasts nearly tumble out, so, please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete moronic sluts.Sweetie, you will not ask him to take you on any little side trips to anywhere, especially the mall, where he will be expected to tag along after you as you use him first as your personal chauffeur, then as your bearer for your packages. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with breasts hanging out, and looking like you are trying out for a job with Hugh Heffner, and I will not object.All activities are to be fully funded by you, the applicant.At the completion of the date, it is your duty to return my daughter safely at the agreed upon time.

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