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Does their dream vacation sound like a nightmare to you? “If someone is a workaholic or they just don’t enjoy planning vacations, you may learn something valuable,” Safran says.
“This question doesn’t probe too much, but does give you an idea if you are dealing with someone that shares your view of leisure and travel.” “If you’re looking for someone who will center you, you’re going to want to know how much they value time with others and how much alone time they’ll need,” Lioi says.
Plus, if you’re the kind of person who needs time on your own, it’s important to know before you get in too deep whether you’re dating someone who mostly likes to be around others.
In some cases, this question can lead to a lively discussion of shared academic interests, but there’s also some data to support the idea that you’re significantly more likely to marry a person who majored in the same subject you did.
“This is a great question that is an opener for a conversation that can go down many roads,” explains Julienne Derichs, a licensed clinical professional counselor practicing in the Chicago area. “Comparing dating war stories it’s fun and usually results in lots of laughs, thereby minimizing the awkwardness of a first date.” The biggest thing you want to avoid on a first date is making it feel like an interrogation, and this question allows you to be casual and still get a feel for who your date is beyond what their dating profile (or the friend who set you up) tells you.
“If someone still parties a lot, seems to have too many plans (if you ask them about more weekends and seem to get the same response), or just spends most weekends working, it may be that they are not relationship ready,” says Stef Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef and The City.
“You are getting an idea of how your date feels about making commitments,” Derrichs explains.
It’s a great way to open the door to conversation about future aspirations and the role income plays in a person’s life.” People love talking about their pets, but there’s actually more you can read into their answer than just whether they’re a cat or dog person.
And even if you didn’t study the exact same thing, marriages were also more likely to occur between people who studied in similar fields, like the humanities, science, or law.
Of course, there’s no need to write someone off for having a different educational background, but this question could provide some helpful context beyond your date’s day job.
If you need some advice on even getting to this stage, check out the 20 Best Dating App Opening Lines. First dates can be weird, so an ice breaker like this can be a great way to cut the tension.
If your potential mate picked the date spot, definitely begin here for a natural conversation starter. “Everyone has a story of their worst date ever,” says Jodi J. D., a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Colorado.