As a result, recent years have seen a rise in single-lady-friendly lit, with uplifting titles affirming the pleasures of life uncoupled, including the 2011 book (Crown, ) by Kate Bolick, author of the 2011 viral Atlantic article “All the Single Ladies.” I read Spinster and, while Bolick is a spectacular mind and first-rate writer, it gave me zero solace.
I’d hoped to find war stories from a fellow PSB struggling with the garbage part of long-term singlehood: loneliness.
I cringe when I imagine it going into print—and then onto the Internet for all eternity—for my exes to see and future dates to find lurking in my Google results. We’re all humans here, so I’ll do it: I’m coming out as lonely.
Then I climb into bed and try not to think, , John T.The book is, rather, Bolick’s celebration of five historical spinsters who crafted exciting lives despite their lack of husbands, as well as an exploration of Bolick’s ambivalence toward the outdated idea of mandatory marriage. “How do you reconcile having a rich life and being lonely? She replied: “It’s about not organizing your life around another person—when you shut all the doors and prioritize the relationship above everything else.I like to have a balance, where my friendships are as important as my romantic relationship, which is as important as my work.” But what if there is no romantic relationship? Bolick urges women to “make a life of one’s own.” Done.poutine as my “boyfriend for the night.” It’s easy for PSBs to feel like freaks when the coupled world constantly reminds us of our single status. Just live your life and work out/smile/go out more, and he will come to you.” One pal insisted I had been concentrating too much on my job.Bella De Paulo, author of 2006’s , calls this ghettoization “singlism.” Even the shoeshine guy at the airport recently opened with, “You married? “Career woman” is one of the most common—and most misogynist—cop-outs.