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My boyfriend is leaving for Basic Training for the Air Force in January, so he's not quite a "military man" yet, but I'll be honest and say that I'm terrified of it.

I'm terrified that he will change, things will get weird between us after being apart, etc., but we both want to stay together and make it work.

I was going to move to Georgia because that is what had been decided for him. The things I value (independent thought, self-sufficiency, open-mindedness, independence in general) are not the things I saw in military life. However: this is my experience with one man, and it will not in any way fit for every situation.

The sexism, racism and arrogance of many military personnel always upset me, but I tried hard to put that aside and enter the Military relationship with an open mind. I try very hard not to create my opinion solely on my hurt, but I'd be insane not to admit that it must color it slightly. But please, please don't make life-long sacrifices without appreciating that there are other options. He cheats constantly, then makes her think it's her fault. He won't take more than two easy community college classes a semester, and usually ends up failing out of at least one.

I've worked as a civilian for the army, have friends who have served and have dated someone from almost every branch. But still I'm no expert and only have my experiences.

In all honesty it's just like dating in general you are going to find good and bad guys.

We've planned our life together and I really want it to work out.

Those individuals will be drama and aren't worth your time.Anyway, I've recently met a very nice guy, and now everyone around me including my parents are warning me and waiting for it all to blow up in my face. For some people the military is an extension of high school. Dating is hard because you don't always know who is a great guy and who isputting up a front.I always hear horror stories about dating military guys and have met a couple awful military guys myself (violent, immature, threatened me). In the realm of military men, try to avoid the ones that get caught up in unit drama.I realize that bad men are not specific to the military, it is just one of those professions that can really mold a person. What qualities/life choices/ etc do you think separate the good ones from the bad? If they gossip about their friends' wives/girfriends/SOs I would stay way.

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